2015: A Champion is Crowned

The 2015 season has come and gone, and we have a new Champ!  But we’ll get to that in a minute…

In the middle of the lower bracket, The Hose Puller was locked in battle with TDs and Beer. After the first round of this matchup, Hoser was out front with a nineteen-point lead and hoping that his RB-heavy lineup would bring home the victory. It did. Rashad Jennings put up 23 points in the flex for Hoser, while DuJuan Harris (SF) added 14 and C.J. Aderson (DEN) tacked on 13. It was simiply too much for TDs and Beer, whose running backs gave only 12 points total to the cause. A dismal performance by Tom Brady (5 points) added to Dusty’s misery. The Hose Puller won the week by 19, enroute to a 159 - 131 victory over TDs and Beer.

At the top of the consolation bracket, points leader dA Champ was trailing Crown Roof 77 – 104, but Nick wasn’t the points leader for nothing. With solid performances out of his running backs Adrian Peterson and Darren McFadden, QB Eli Manning, WR Sammy Watkins and K Justin Tucker, Nick gave Jeremiah a run for his money. Stubbornly, Jeremiah hung on. The Bengals D/ST put up a -2 for Crown, giving him a good scare, but WR Brandon Marshall and RB Tre Mason (STL) played above their averages to secure co-MVP honors on the team, and just enough points for Jeremiah. While Jeremiah lost the week by 22, his margin from week 16 was enough to hang on for the 168 – 163 win, earning him a joyous and raucous 5th place victory.

Up in the third-place game, there was some good drama going on. Nicole and Team Josiah jumped out to an 88 – 67 lead over Craig and his Untarnished Krones. In retaliation, Craig unleashed his not-so-secret weapon, Cam Newton, who was joined in a points fest by Tyler Eifert and the Chiefs D/ST. Among them, they put up 58 points. Meanwhile, QB Carson Palmer and TE Rob Gronkowski put up abyssmal numbers for Nicole. Despite her long-standing crush on the Gronk, Nicole had to be disappointed in him for this week’s 1-point performance. Craig won the week 119 – 93, which was enough for a come-from-behind, catch-her-at-the-tape victory. In this see-saw battle for third, the Krones came out on top, 186 – 181. Congratulations, Craig!

The Sacko. Last Place. The honor nobody wants. The distinction somebody has to get. The trophy Justin and Adrian are furiously trying to avoid. After falling asleep at the wheel last week Adrian put up a good fight, starting Drew Brees, who got some help from DeMarco Murray, TE Richard Rodgers, and kicker Josh Brown. Going down the box score, this was a back-and-forth affair, with the only consistency between the men showing up in the flex position (3 points each). The real difference came down to wide receivers. Slingin’ and Slangin’ ended the season on a ball-grabbing high note, as Antonio Brown ended the year with a 22-point game and Allen Robinson added 10. Justin won the week 79 – 73. On top of the 40-point ass-kicking he gave Adrian last week, the final score of this one was 167 – 121, Slingin’ and Slangin’ over FY Brody. Our condolences to Adrian Simser, “winner” of the Sacko.

To the championship! Veteran Caleb Kallander taking on League newcomer Jason Gunderson. Team Kallander hosting the Nordic Love Gods. A battle for the ages! A game to remember! Not really. Frankly folks, this one held far less drama than the third-place game. In terms of smack talk, Caleb ranks right at the bottom of our league. But man, he quietly put together a killer team this year. The Love Gods had a couple of bright spots in Jordan Matthews and Doug Martin, but they were no match for Caleb’s team. To be sure, this was a low-scoring week for Caleb, but it was even lower for Jason. Roethlisberger, Julio Jones, and Tim Hightower led the scoring for Team Kallander, which ended the week with 83, compared to the Love Gods’ miserable 50. On top of the prior week’s 24-point spread, Team Kallander cruised to a cushy, comfortable victory, 226 – 169. Congratulations to Team Kallander, 2015 League Champion! We doff our hats to you, sir.

It’s been a fantastic year, kids. Let’s make the next one even better.

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