Week 11 2018 Recap: Movement within the Bowels (of the League)

By Jason Gunderson

The eleventh week has come and gone, and with it a scintillating matchup between our #1 and #10, another score doubling, a little musical chairs in the West, and a high-scoring toilet bowl. 

Let’s start with the toilet bowl. Nick Simon took on Patrick Imhof this week, da Champ versus DigBick. Both teams scored above the Ericson Benchmark of 94, which in past years was a decent indicator of victory. Not this year. Patrick got some great numbers out of his running backs, Kareem Hunt (17) and Leonard Fournette (19). Quatertback Phillip Rivers added a decent (meh) 20, and his kicker, 5. It was the New Orleans defense and Larry Fitzgerald that really surprised, however. Fitzgerald, who looks fantastic for 47 years old, hauled in a couple of crucial catches for TDs, scoring 14. I guess the old guy had to show the kids a move or two. The New Orleans defense scored 15, bringing Patrick up to 97 on the week. It wasn’t enough, though in all fairness, Nick’s team did try to give the game away. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick managed three interceptions in his lackluster game against the Giants, netting all of seven points. RB Dalvin Cook then said, “Hold my beer” and scored minus one. Ugh. Things were not looking good for Nick, then the Chiefs took the field against the Rams. WR Tyreek Hill hauled in ten balls for 215 yards, two TDs, and 33 points. Kid was on fire. TE Travis Kelce added 18, another fantastic score for a tight end. Oh, and speaking of old, Adrian Peterson scored a couple of TDs as well. Da ChAmP took home this toilet bowl, 111 – 97 over DigBick Imhof.

Number two in the East, Mike Arnold, played host to number three in the West this week, Justin Walter. This was truly a game of wide receivers, as both men had receivers in the flex in addition to their two normal receivers. The six receivers scored a total of 99 points, an average of over 16 points each. Sadly for Justin, Mike’s guys scored two-thirds of those points: Keenan Allen had 14, Mike Evans, 24, and T.Y. Hilton, 27. Everyone else on Mike’s team scored at or below average (we’re looking hardest at you, Dion Lewis), but they weren’t as bad as the guys on Justin’s team. Yikes. King Slayer scored a season-low 70 enroute to dumping this game in the trash, and Dr. Vegas Mike was the sanitation engineer, taking this one away, 105 – 70.

Tied by record in the standings, Jason Gunderson tried to take advantage of Justin’s loss, as he took a foray into volatile Quagnis’ territory. David Johnson didn’t have the week he had in number 10, logging only 14 points. Kenny Golladay had a decent score, 17, but the Chicago D/ST was the light shining on the hill for Quags with 16 points. Graham Gano…fuck, he decided to give a point away. “No no, Mr. Gunderson, you’re not favored by enough. Why don’t I just pass a point over to your side?” Jesus. The big story for the Nordic Love Gods was Saquon Barkley, who scored a fantastic 33 points. Quarterback Drew Brees added 30 at home against Philadelphia, and Rams’ WR Robert Woods added 13 in the flex. It was an all-around good performance for the LGs, as they took this one, 134 – 90 over Quags. With the win, the Love Gods moved into third place in the West, pushing King Slayer down to fourth, and also moved slightly ahead of KS in the Points-For category.

The top of the West in contention for the last several weeks, second-place Craig Ericson hosted the wildly erratic Nicole Holand, Untarnished Krones versus Gronk ‘a’ Holic. With a win and a loss by Caleb Kallander, Craig could move into the top spot in the West and the League. I’m not sure how Craig can have such a monster team, given the fact that he’s playing with three defenses.  In fact, at this point, Craig only has to decide which defense he’s going to play, and leave out the guys who are on a bye. Beyond that, it basically doesn’t matter who he puts in. Throw the fucking dice and go with it. Running back Christian McCaffrey scored only 10 points and Emmanuel Sanders had 5. Oh, and TE Jack Doyle netted 4. Those were the stragglers on Craig’s team. Everyone else did just fine, thank you very much. Meanwhile, Nicole doesn’t even want to revisit her score. It just wasn’t good. The Untarnished Krones coasted to another double-up, 129 – 62 over Gronk ‘a’ Holic.

Jeremiah Walter, on a mission to spoil as many dreams as he can at the end of the season, went into his game against Caleb Kallander with a positive mental attitude, a thirst for blood, and zero fucks to give. As the game progressed, the League held its collective breath as we all realized he might *actually* beat Caleb. Quarterback Jared Goff scored 34, RB Zeke Elliot had 25, and WR Josh Reynolds (Rams) had 14 in the flex. Kicker Greg Zuerlein added 11, and WR Brandin Cooks had 10. It was a solid performance. For Caleb, the development that really derailed his game was the lackluster performance of running backs Todd Gurley and James Connor. Together, they managed a total of 12 points. Dismal. And then Zach Ertz scored 1. Holy fuck. Stefon Diggs and Cam Newton responded, however, putting the team on their 42-point backs. The Houston D added a fantastic 17, and Baltimore kicker, Justin Tucker, posted 12. When the dust settled, Caleb found a way to win. C Killin it K took this one from Dream Died, 106 – 99. Interesting fact: with any of three different bench substitutions available to him, Jeremiah could have won this game. With his victory, Kallander remains on top of the League, though Ericson is eating into his points lead.

Good luck to all in week 12!

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